drunktrophywife: if you’re going to insult me please give me 24 hours notice so i can come up with a comeback
inseptica: shout out to girls with harsh voices and boys with fat thighs and to people who dont like a tv show but will still watch it with a good attitude if their friend wants to watch it and shout out to people who only rarely talk to their pets in baby voices and also to people who laugh at their own jokes and people who draw angry eyebrows on billboards i love you all
johnentwlstle: it literally stresses me out how much good music there is that i still haven’t listened to
satans-fabulous-blog: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
vvorldwideweb: *takes 30 selfies before deciding not to post one*
cokeflow: A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a chair
getoffmybloghoe: when you lose your phone in the blanket and you just
When you meet someone equally as weird as you
Why do we live in a generation of not being in love?
psilentasincjelli: If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
basedgodniall: I LITERALLY DO 8 SECONDS OF WORK THEN REWARD MYSELF WITH 40 MINUTES OF TUMBLR LIKE CAN I STOP DOING THAT
odair: funerals are so depressing. i want a parade when i die. cupcakes. airhorns. dancing. maybe even a murder mystery game with me as the person who was murdered.
you-told-me-think-about-it: ohitsjustkim: fairgroundsoldier: 01012012: friendly reminder that after each passing day you are closer to finding your soulmate and your grave and eating your next pizza this sums up all of tumblr
sardonicheight: [[seductively does nothing to indicate I’m attracted to you]]
do you ever want to punch yourself in the face for liking someone a lot
tightarsetuesday: when boys stretch and their shirt rides up a little and shows the part of their lower tummy that just meets their hips when that part of their tummy has a happy trail when you see the waistband of their underwear boys
Tumblr: I am a strong and independent blue website who don't need no Yahoo
justinibiebers: stuff you ask your mom: mom where’s my towel mom what do we eat for dinner mom what time is it mom where’s my phone mom when do you come back mom what day is it stuff you ask your dad dad where is mom